Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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