I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
