Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
