Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
