K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
