everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
