it wasn't lemon gatorade
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
