Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Alive.
So much puke
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
