no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your cock deserves a montage
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
