summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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