Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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