i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
