You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
