9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
