waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
