North Korea, Best Korea!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
