I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
