Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
