Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
