it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
