im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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