True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
