yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
