to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
