You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
