So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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