I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
