Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
