One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
