I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this boner is exhausting
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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