...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
