So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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