if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
