Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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