okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
