he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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