She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
