Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
