The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i think my cat just said my name.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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