I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
