First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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