non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
