the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
