woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
