On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
