Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
