Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I cut my penus on the lid.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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