he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
