Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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