Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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