i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
