She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
