We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
