it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
