is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
