you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
