You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
