Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
